What is birth like?

Birth is different for everyone. And each labor is usually different for the same mom. Women use many different words to describe the feelings and sensations of birth. I think the best way to describe it is intense. Giving birth to another human being, having a person pass through you and out into the world is probably the most intense experience I can imagine. It is intense physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It takes strength you didn't know you had. It takes determination, faith, and trust in yourself, your body, and your baby. In spite of the level of intensity, it does not have to be painful. Many women describe pleasure, even ecstasy during their births, while others describe a lot of pressure.

One of the most important things to remember about birth is that it is a journey, and only you and your baby can make that journey. No one else, no machine, no doctor, no doula can make it for you. Your team is there to support you throughout, but it is yours. You will have to go deep inside yourself and make that journey through each twist and turn of labor. You and your baby will need to work together, reassuring each other, talking to each other..connected. You will have to face the intensity of physical, emotional, and spiritual sensation of each moment. When you anticipate and realize the normalcy of the intensity, you will be able to let go of any fear you may be holding about birth. It is normal. Just as your body knows how to breathe, it knows also how to birth.

One of the tools I love for labor preparation and use during labor is the Birthing from Within LabOrinth. Take a moment and go read the article about it. It describes perfectly the journey of birth. Labor is not a delineated process as medical texts describe, and women don't experience it as neat and tidy as "1st, 2nd, and 3rd stage". It is a winding road, and a path that once you begin you must finish. At the end of the path is your precious baby and the completion of the journey.

Every woman must figure out how to best complete her birthing journey, and that starts in pre-conception and pregnancy as you choose your doctor, your birthing place, your birthing team (doula, friend, midwife, etc), your childbirth preparation class, and most importantly the mindfulness of yourself, your body, and your baby. Every bit of preparation sets the stage for the beautiful day when you pass from the world of a woman to that of a mother.

It's Yours

I drank too much coffee today and now I am unable to sleep and thinking about...empowered birth. One thing that I believe is not talked about enough in the birth community is the parent's responsibility in their birth experience. And I get why it's not talked about... it could easily be taken the wrong way by mommies who had a bad experience. That is the furthest thing from my mind and intentions with this post. I never, ever want moms to feel guilty and blame themselves for a bad birth experience. 

That being said, responsibility is a HUGE part of an empowered birth. I think as women, especially in America, we are raised to blindly trust doctors and not question them. Unfortunately, this trust is not always warranted. Not to say that there aren't fabulous, amazing doctors out there. There are. And not to say that this lack of trustworthiness is always the doctor's fault, it's not. Some of it is a product of the bureaucratic system in which our medical system operates. There are so many lawsuits, with protocols to follow along after them to prevent more lawsuits. There are insurance companies that force doctors to play by their rules, or else. In general, it is a system which needs a lot of fixing.

Which is why women have to be more vigilant than ever when it comes to their pregnancies, births, and babies. Mamas, your body belongs to YOU. Your baby belongs to YOU. Your birth belongs to YOU. Not your doctor, not the nurses on call when you go into labor, not your doula or your friend or your sister. YOU. You (along with your partner) are the ONLY one(s) qualified to make decisions for yourself and your baby. You are the only one who should be making the choices in childbirth that you will remember forever. Yes, your doctor may be more educated in matters of the uterus and what to do in true medical emergencies. But that does not mean that you have to be uneducated. In fact, I have heard of moms who knew more about birth matters than their doctor! (One friend had to educate her doctor about delayed cord clamping... he had never heard of it before!)

Research. Research. Research some more. Don't take your friend's word for it that birth is awful and you are crazy to go without an epidural. Don't take your doctor's word for it that you HAVE to be induced at 41 weeks for the simple reason that you are 41 weeks. Or that because you had a cesarean before, you have to have one again. Don't take the mainstream's opinion blindly that your baby has to have every vaccine on the vaccine schedule at the exact time recommended. Research! Figure out what is right for YOU! No one else is going to take responsibility for you and your baby... only you get that great honor!

(source)

**Choosing a team (care provider, hospital, doula) to collaborate with to create the experience you want is up to you.
**Making a plan to outline your wishes to the best of your ability is up to you.
**Educating yourself on options and what is best for you and your baby is up to you.
**Standing up for those choices and refusing to be part of the "protocol system" is...you guessed it, up to you!

The doctor won't do it. The nurses won't do it. (Generally). They have their duties and responsibilities and advocating for your ideal birth isn't typically one of them. (All of the nurses I have worked with as a doula have been wonderful to my clients! I am not demonizing medical staff here... just trying to illustrate the point that they need to do their jobs, which include charting, monitoring, and reporting to the doctor. Their job doesn't necessarily include cheering you on... or trying to help remind you that you did not want an epidural... or encouraging you to get in the shower... or trying acupressure).

Mamas, be EMPOWERED. You have choices! Don't wait for "permission" to birth how you choose.. don't even think of it as someone "letting" you take a shower or walk around or decline an IV/epidural/amniotomy or whatever it may be. It is your right! I'll say it again.. You have the right to give birth how you want! Your birth belongs to you and no one else. Take that great responsibility into your hands and OWN it.

What is Empowered Birth?

I throw the words "empowering" and "empowerment" around a lot when it comes to my services as a doula and birth in general. But what does having an empowered birth really mean?

Dictionary.com defines it as: em·pow·er
1. to give power or authority to; authorize
2. to enable or permit: Knowledge and preparation empowered her to have a wonderful birth experience. (Okay, so I added that example in! ;p) 

So how does this apply to birth?
Knowledge is power! ~ Empowered birth is a mama and her partner who know their options and are educated on the birth process, common procedures, and their rights as a birthing couple.
Options ~ Empowered birth means that the mama and her partner are in the driver's seat of their care. They know their options, and they make the choices that are best for THEM and THEIR baby. What is right for one couple may not be right for another. What is right for one baby's birth may not be right for the next baby.
Support ~ The birthing couple should have experienced, compassionate people around them during labor and birth who will support and help them achieve the birth wishes they have prepared for.
Freedom ~ Empowered mamas do what they need to do in labor! Some mamas may want to move around, take a bath/shower, groan, moan, yell, crawl on the floor, rock their hips, sing songs, chant. Other mamas may want to have medical pain relief. Whatever is right for her!!
A safe place ~ Empowered birth happens in the place of the mama's choosing. She should labor and birth wherever is most comfortable and meets her needs, whether that is at a hospital, in a birth center, or at home.
A caring provider ~ Empowered birth should include a care provider who respects their patient's wishes, takes time to hear and answer her questions/concerns, and does everything they can to help her have the experience she desires. (This is not always the case, unfortunately, but women can have the experience they want regardless of this!)
Intuition and Belief ~ Empowered birth is a woman who listens to her intuition and goes with her instincts. She has a strong belief in her body's POWER and her ability to give birth to the child she has grown.

For me, it's all about education and setting yourself up for success. This is what I focus on in prenatals. Arming the mama and papa to be with info on their choices, their rights, and walking with them through creating the scene in which their baby will be welcomed. What birthing environment to choose? What type of care provider to have? Where to labor? What comfort techniques to use during labor to achieve their goals? For each woman, the vision of birth is different. We all have unique wants and needs. Empowered birth is about preparing and planning to have those wants and needs met. And if they change during labor, that's fine too! A mama who has just given birth her way, to the best of her ability, making informed decisions along the way... that's empowered birth! 

Tips for Early Labor

Early labor is a very exciting time. After 9+ months of waiting to meet your baby, not to mention the discomforts of late pregnancy, most mommies are ready to get their babies OUT! So when you start feeling those first twinges of early contractions, it is hard not to get out your Contraction Master and focus all your attention on them. Here are a few tips for early labor that have worked well with my clients.

(photo source)

1. If you think you're in labor, ignore it for a while.
As long as your water hasn't broken, if you are feeling a contraction every now and then, it's best to just ignore it. Why? For a few reasons. First of all, you may be in verrry early labor. You could have sporadic contractions on and off for days. Secondly, when you are thinking about contracting and wondering how far apart they are and how they feel, you are not letting your primal brain take over. When you overanalyze everything your body is doing in labor, it tends to slow down, if not stop all together. Hackney Doula had a great post about this on her blog. Also, paying too much attention to it makes it more intense than it needs to be. Say you bump your leg and get a bruise. If you keep poking at it and looking at it and focusing on it, it is going to hurt a lot worse than if you were to just leave it alone and go about your business. The more you focus on contractions in early labor, the more intense they feel. On that note...

2. Go about your normal business.
This piggy backs after #1. Just ignore things and do what you would normally do. Go ahead and do your grocery shopping. Take your older child to the park. Do some work in the garden. Not only will going about your normal routine keep your mind from focusing too much on labor, it will also help labor progress more easily and quickly by being active and relaxed.

3. Watch a funny and or romantic movie.
Laughter and romantic feelings enhance good labor hormones. Same goes for kissing and cuddling with your partner. According to this article, "laughter helps control pain, lower blood pressure, relieve stress, and increase muscle flexion. It also shuts off the flow of stress hormones, increases the body's ability to utilize oxygen, and triggers a flood of beta endorphins, the brain's natural morphine-like compounds that can induce a sense of euphoria." Romantic feelings enhance the flow of oxytocin, which helps contractions get into a good pattern and effectively open your cervix.

4. If you feel like it, go for a walk.
Walking will help your labor progress nicely. Plus it just feels good to get fresh air and a little easy exercise.

5. If it's night time, go to sleep!!! 
I can't tell you how many times someone has thought they were in labor only to stay up all night and then be exhausted the next day for the "real deal". You are going to need all the strength and stamina you can get for active labor. You don't want to be exhausted in active labor and pushing. Listen to a relaxing cd. Take a bath. Go.to.sleep!

When labor goes to the next level (more active stage), you will know. Contractions will get harder to ignore. You may have to stop and breathe through them. You may start to feel more serious and less into the distractions. You may notice.. "hey, these are starting to feel like they are coming close together"... then have your husband/partner discreetly time a few of them. Call your doula. And then go back to what you were doing before. The less you focus on it, the more relaxed you will be and the faster it will go by.

Happy early laboring :)

The Cost - and Worth - of a Doula

Many people may wonder about a doula's fees. Here is a GREAT article breaking down doula fees. Here is an exerpt:

If you charge $400 per birth, this is a simple breakdown to consider:
Time with parents – 5 hours (prenatals and phone calls)
Time at birth – 10 hours (sometimes much longer, sometimes much shorter, but 10 is a midline average).
Time in postpartum – 3 hours
Postpartum visits if you offer 2 – 3 hours
Driving time – 3 hours average.
Prep and research time – 2 hours
At 26 hours, you’re rate is approximately $15.38 an hour.

This is just an example, but you can see that doulas are not getting rich in our line of work. I can only speak for myself to say that I do this work because it is my passion to help families have the best birth and postpartum experience they can have!!

As for the WORTH of a doula, I would have to say (in my unbiased opinion, ha ha) that we are priceless! You can never get back your birth experience. You can never get back the first few precious weeks of your baby's life. Yet you will always remember them, and wouldn't it be wonderful if you could experience and remember them with joy and no regrets? This is not to say that doulas are a magic pill or cure all, but evidence does show that they contribute to a better birth experience, increased breastfeeding success and reduced rates of postpartum depression. I once read that hiring a doula is making an investment in your family. I couldn't agree more! Beginnings matter, and you and your baby deserve the best beginning possible!

(image source)

If you are having a hard time financially and want to have a doula, try asking your friends and family to put money towards one for your baby shower. Or forego some of the baby products we all think we need but then only use once or twice (wipe warmer, diaper genie, swing, port-a-crib, 10,000 onesies). You may also look for doulas who offer discounted rates or a bundle charge for multiple services (as I do with combined Birth and Postpartum services).

Be Positive

I feel that one of the most important steps in childbirth happens weeks before you ever feel your first contraction. It is so essential because it will effect you on that beautiful day and will largely (I believe) determine the outcome of your birth experience. It is this: the way that you talk to yourself. Now I'm not talking about voices in your head schizophrenia style, but we all talk to ourselves, don't we? We tell ourselves that we are too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too dumb, too weak. What we tell ourselves is based on our beliefs and experiences. And it determines our actions, our feelings, and the situations we end up in. Think about the way you talk to yourself. Is it positive? Uplifting? Or are you hard on yourself and kind of negative about your strength and abilities? Trust me, it WILL make a difference on your birthing day.

Take for instance a little story about two women. They are both pregnant. They are both beautiful, young, smart, and loved. They both think about the day that they will go into labor.

Woman #1 is very positive about her birth experience and has gone to great lengths to prepare herself for that day. She has taken classes and focused on relaxation and meditating on positive affirmations throughout her last trimester. She asks people not to tell her about their birth horror stories. She is not sure of exactly what to expect, but overall she feels positive and in control. She has faith in herself and her body's ability to birth.

Woman #2 is scared of birth. She knows it hurts, people have told her how much over and over again. They have told her "natural" birth is nuts, who wouldn't want an epidural?!! She hasn't taken a childbirth education class and she is largely unaware of her options and choices in the hospital setting. She is afraid that she won't be able to handle the pain.

Which of these two women do you think is going to have a more positive birth experience? Which one is going to be better prepared to handle the potential surprises and "obstacles" that can arise in the birth process? Which is more likely to need medical intervention and pain relief?

Now. I am not saying that epidurals and pain relief don't have their place. This is not about pain relief or childbirth situations at all. It is about being prepared and confident. It is about not going into birth with a crippling fear, but rather going into it confident and empowered in your ability to birth a child and make informed decisions along the way. It is about making sure that when you look back on your birth experience, epidural or not, interventions or not, that you knew you were as prepared as possible and made the best choices for you in that situation.

What we say to ourselves matters. It goes into our subconscious and it dictates a large part of our lives. The Hypnobabies website discusses this:

In other cultures, childbirth is regarded as a natural, normal event in a woman's life. The birthing women are given support from other women, and children are often present to witness the event. In this way, birth is celebrated and honored. Young girls then grow up with the belief system that birth is a positive event and their expectations of childbirth reflect this attitude. As a result, their births are similar to their predecessors; without pain and fear. They have a positive expectation of childbirth. In our culture, it is very much the opposite. For many generations we have been told that delivering a baby will be untold hours of painfully agonizing work, to be faced with fear and trepidation. We have heard stories from well-meaning friends and family that send shivers up our spines, and so the legacy continues. We experience pain in childbirth, in part because we very much expect to! 

If we expect pain, we harbor fear. If we harbor fear, we tense up. When we tense up, pain increases. 

So my message is this. Be prepared. Know what to expect. Be kind to yourself. Have faith in yourself. If you don't, pretend. Tell yourself every day that you can do it. Tell yourself that your body was made to do this.

Find a CD or a book of pregnancy and birth affirmations.
Do the Hypnobabies program. (I recommend this only because I have had several clients use it with great success).
At the very least, write down your own affirmations. To do this, think of all your negative, fearful thoughts, and then write down the opposite. For instance, if you are afraid you won't be able to handle the pain, write down "I will be calm and relaxed. I will handle one contraction at a time. The pain cannot be greater than me, because it IS me."
Then set apart time for yourself every single day where you meditate or pray and tell yourself all the positive things you have written down. (Or listen to the CD, or read the book, etc.) Repeat them out loud. Even if you don't truly believe them at first, the point is to repeat it enough that it goes into your subconscious.
"Fake it till you make it"!
At the same time, do not allow yourself to think negative thoughts.
If one pops into your head, immediately combat it with a positive thought.
Politely ask all your well meaning friends not to tell you their traumatic birth stories until after you give birth.
Don't watch sensationalized TV shows like One Born Every Minute.
Read positive birth stories and books, such as Painless Childbirth, Birth Without Fear, Orgasmic Birth. Begin to look forward to the day you birth your baby.
Focus on it as the beautiful, miraculous, natural event that it is.
Anticipate it with joy and excitement.
YOU.CAN.DO.IT!!!!
You were made to do it.
Your body effortlessly and subconsciously formed a human being.
So it can also give birth to it normally and naturally.

Much love and positive thoughts,
Elyse

A Doula's Promise

The Promise of a Doula:


1. You cannot hurt my feelings in labour

2. I won’t lie to you in labour

3. I will do everything in my power so you do not suffer

4. I will help you to feel safe

5. I cannot speak for you; but I will make sure that you have a voice and I will make sure you are heard

(I saw this and shared it on my Facebook page, and I love it so much I wanted to share it here as well.)

Should I Have a Doula If....

I sometimes get questions from prospective clients about different birthing experiences and whether or not they would need/want a doula in that situation. Here I am going to answer those and explain why a doula is useful and valuable in any situation.

Should I Have a Doula If.... I am having a home birth/birth center birth with a midwife? 
Yes!!! Although at times the roles of doula and midwife overlap, they still have distinct areas of focus. The midwife is primarily focused on the health of the mother and baby, and the clinical aspects of birth. She needs to monitor heart rates and blood pressure, catch the baby, and all that comes along with that. If in a birth center, the midwife will also have other clients and will not be able to stay with the laboring mom at all times.

The role of the doula is the same in every birth situation: to focus on the emotional well being and physical comfort of the mom. The doula doesn't have any other clients to focus on, and does not need to address the medical aspect of birth. She is there solely to encourage, support, and take care of mom and partner. She helps keep mom relaxed and provides physical comfort in the form of massage, hot/cold packs, hip squeezes, & gentle touch. She knows the relaxation techniques and birth preparations the parents have done and helps them employ them. (i.e. Hypnobabies, Lamaze, etc).

Here is a great excerpt from this article: "The doula is concerned with the mother’s emotional experience first and foremost. The midwife must be concerned with the health and safety of the mother and her baby first and foremost. The doula is a peer, like a new friend with experience in birthing."

Should I Have a Doula If.... My supportive and loving husband/partner is going to be there? 
Yes!!! The doula is not there to take the place of the mom's partner. To the contrary, the doula is there to support both the mother and the partner. Birth can be a long process! Some ways the doula can support the partner are by letting them take a break for a nap or meal, making sure they are also staying calm and are doing well emotionally, and helping them support the mom by showing them techniques to try.. to name a few.

The other difference between the doula and partner is that the doula is a trained birth professional. She has experience in the physiology and process of birth. She knows all the tips and tricks to comfort mama, positions to try to make labor go faster, and can help explain procedures. She has experience and has been at several other births. She knows the different methods of childbirth preparation and can help remind mom and partner of what they learned in their childbirth class. 

A doula knows that the husband/partner knows and loves mom and baby the most! She is there to support the whole family unit so that everyone can have a beautiful experience. 

Should I Have a Doula If.... This is my second, third, fourth child? 
Yes!!! Every single birth experience is different. Every baby has a unique passage to birth and the mama should have support every.single.time. Things might occur in your third birth that never happened in the first two. You may have different wishes for subsequent births. You may be giving birth in different settings. You may have different emotions this time around. Your baby may be in a different position. Each new birth is a new adventure!

Bottom line, loving support is an essential ingredient in every birth. 

Preparing for your VBAC

With a cesarean birth rate of over 30% in the United States, VBAC has become a huge issue for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th time mamas. A cesarean may be done for a number of reasons - fetal distress, "failure to progress", STD's in the mother, "CPD" (cephalopelvic disproportion), and even convenience on the part of the doctor or patient.  This post is not to argue the validity of those reasons, but to help the moms who want to have a vaginal birth the next time around. It is entirely possible, safe, and is good for both mama and baby. I know there are a million and one posts about the various aspects of a VBAC, including benefits, risks, statistics, etc. Instead of rehashing those, I thought I would address how you, as the mama, can prepare yourself for a successful and rewarding birth.

Step 1: Find a Supportive Health Care Provider
This is a biggie. Not all OBGYN's or midwives will take on a VBAC client. It is important to shop around for one who not only will take you as a client, but who will really strive to honor your wishes for your birth (this goes for any birther, not just VBAC'ers). Ideally, this doctor or midwife will have seen and assisted with many VBAC's, because the more comfortable they are with it, the more likely they will be to let your body do it's work without any interventions.

Ask lots of questions when you interview them. How many VBAC's have they attended? How many were successful? Do they believe in inducing, and how long will they "let" you stay pregnant? Are they open to letting you be in different positions to push? How do they support you so that you may have the best outcome?

If they don't meet your standards or you don't feel completely comfortable with them - keep looking! Don't be afraid to find a doctor out of your area. It will be worth an hour's drive when you are having your baby!

Step 2: Stay Healthy
Women who remain healthy, active and fit during pregnancy tend to have easier births. Remember, labor is like a marathon. Your body should be ready to handle the work it will have to do. While you're pregnant, take walks, eat healthy, get chiropractic care, exercise moderately (after discussing with your care provider). Pregnancy yoga classes are a great way to stay flexible and fit, as well as the added bonus of helping you breathe and stay calm. I would recommend this book, "Real Food for Mother and Baby", for a healthy pregnancy diet.

Step 3: Release Fears and/or Past Birth Trauma
Many (but not all) women who have had a past cesarean birth have strong feelings about it. They may feel angry, disappointed, like they failed, or even traumatized. These feelings are completely normal, but they need to be worked through. Find a doula, friend, counselor, someone who you can trust and work through these fears/feelings with. You don't want to be carrying them with you to your next birth, because they will impede the natural work of your body. A scared mind makes a scared body, and a scared body can't give birth the way it needs to. 

Having a doula at your birth can make a huge difference. Doulas can use their knowledge, experience, and relaxation techniques to help you stay calm and at peace. They are a constant source of information, encouragement, and support.

Here is a great article about healing after a past traumatic birth. It mentions hypnosis - I can attest that this works! I have had a few birth clients who have used the Hypnobabies program with great success. This CD from Hypnobabies is just for VBAC mamas.

Step 4: Find Success Stories & Surround Yourself with Positive People
This goes for all pregnant mamas. Be surrounded by positive, not negative!! Don't hang out with the friend who always feels the need to tell you how awful and painful her birth was (or at least ask her to stop talking about it!). Don't watch sensationalized shows like A Baby Story. Politely ask people not to say anything negative about labor, or your pain tolerance, or their own traumatic stories.

Instead, find online forums for other VBAC moms. Connect with moms who have had successful VBACS. Watch youtube videos of VBAC births, or just beautiful births in general. Do pregnancy and birth affirmations. Don't let your own mind talk negatively to you either!!! Tell yourself positive, uplifting, encouraging things.

Step 5: Know Your Resources
Read, read, read. Read some more.
Watch this video, and others like it.

Check out these websites:
www.vbacfacts.com
http://ican-online.org/
http://www.childbirth.org/section/VBACindex.html
http://www.vbac.com/

Read these books:
The VBAC Companion
Vaginal Birth After Cesarean
Natural Childbirth After Cesarean
The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
...and others like them

Check out this article..
VBA3C Study: Vaginal Birth After 3 Cesareans is Safer than Repeat Cesarean

Step 6: Strive for a Natural Birth
The less you mess with it, the better off you'll be. What does this mean? Strive to let labor begin on it's own. Avoid pitocin or other labor inducing drugs. (Pitocin and Misoprostil cause greater risks of uterine rupture in VBACS... and P.S., avoid Misoprostil during ANY birth). While epidurals do not add risk to VBAC itself, they do make it more likely that you will end up with another cesarean for other reasons. Advocate for the ability to move around as needed and wanted during labor, and push in a position that you are comfortable with. Again, this is an area where doulas can be a fabulous help and resource.

Bottom line, VBAC mamas, go for it!! You CAN do this!!!!

Great Birth Quotes

I was browsing birth quotes today and thought I would share them with you. Enjoy! 

“Many Western doctors hold the belief that we can improve everything, even natural childbirth in a healthy woman. This philosophy is the philosophy of people who think it deplorable that they were not consulted at the creation of Eve, because they would have done a better job.” - Kloosterman (ha ha!)

"In the sheltered simplicity of the first days after a baby is born, one sees again the magical closed circle, the miraculous sense of two people existing only for each other.” - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“Giving birth entails enabling the mother rather than the persons in attendance to be central to the arrival of her child. Even when the arrival, as is sometimes true, must be effected surgically.” - Ruth W. Lubic

“To witness the birth of a child is our best opportunity to experience the meaning of the word miracle.” - Paul Carvel

"You do not need a vaginal exam to have a baby. I am serious. They will still come out." - Mama Birth

“Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.” - Elizabeth Stone

“Birth is not only about making babies. Birth is about making mothers ~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and know their inner strength.” - Barbara Katz Rothman

“Birth is the sudden opening of a window, through which you look out upon a stupendous prospect. For what has happened? A miracle. You have exchanged nothing for the possibility of everything.” - William Dixon

“We know that birth takes a woman from one place in her life to another. The birth of a child certainly does change her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint of the world.” - Samerrah Shareef

“Call it "womb awe" or even "womb worship" but it's not simple envy. I don't remember even wanting to be a woman. But each of the three times I have been present at the birth of one of my children, I have been overwhelmed by a sense of reverence... It was quite suddenly, the first day of creation; the Goddess giving birth to a world... Like men since the beginning of time I wondered: What can I ever create that will equal the magnificence of this new life?” - Sam Keen

“Babies are bits of star-dust blown from the hand of God. Lucky the woman who knows the pangs of birth for she has held a star.” - Larry Barretto

“Of all the joys that lighten suffering earth, what joy is welcomed like a new-born child?” - Caroline Norton

“Birth is an experience that demonstrates that life is not merely function and utility, but form and beauty.” - Christopher Largen

“People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's in water. But certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.” - Elaine Boosler

“We've put birth in the same category with illness and disease and it's never belonged there. Birth is naturally safe, but we've allowed it to be taken over by the medical community.” - Carla Hartley

Postpartum Rituals: Western Society and Other Cultures

As we know, pregnancy and birth are one of the most important times in a woman's life. They are life changing events, and are typically treated as such. Women and their partners spend months in awe over the change of the woman's body and the life growing inside. They have rituals like baby showers to celebrate the new life of their child. They (hopefully) prepare for childbirth to the best of their ability by reading, researching, and taking classes about the best way for them to give birth. They set up the nursery, wash the baby clothes, and eagerly anticipate their precious baby's arrival. As it should be.

But what about AFTER the baby is born? How often are we prepared for the time after we come home from the hospital or birth center? I know I wasn't. Sure, I arranged for my ride home, and my mom stayed with me for a week. But beyond that, I had no idea of what to expect or how I was going to "do it all". I think this is true for a lot of parents in our society. We assume that we will not need help, that we can do it all ourselves.

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I believe that mothers know how to care for their baby, instinctively. Does that mean we know how to do everything and need no outside help? No!! It has been common practice throughout history for many women to surround a new mother and instruct her in the art of mothering her child.

And what about the rest of it? The meals, the laundry, the showers, the first baby bath, the breastfeeding? Our society has such an attitude of the idea that women should be able to do it all, and 3 days postpartum, no less! I believe that this expectation of mothers causes immense undue stress, which can lead to lack of confidence in caring for her baby, postpartum anxiety, and even postpartum depression.

The author Suzanne Arms asks "Is ours not a strange culture that focuses so much attention on childbirth--virtually all of it based on anxiety and fear--and so little on the crucial time after birth, when patterns are established that will affect the individual and the family for decades?"

In other cultures, the postpartum woman is well taken care of. In Korea, mothers are cared for 21 days postpartum. They are on bed rest and keep their baby with them in their room at all times (source).

In India, the postpartum woman is kept in seclusion "and attended to by female relatives. The Rajasthani enforced rest, physical and emotional support during the establishment of maternal bonding and lactation may be crucial in preventing or relieving postpartum depression, and are similar to those observed in Nepal which are also considered to manage postpartum stress" (source) .

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In the North African Amazigh tribe, women are kept secluded and attended by a midwife for 7 days after birth. They are painted with henna and eye kohl, and perform some of the same familiar rituals as their wedding time. "The effect of these ritual actions was to allow the mother to rest and be cared for by an experienced attendant during the 10 day period required for her estrogen, progesterone and prolactin levels to stabilize and for her to recover her strength. Neither mother nor child were washed with water during this period, but were cleaned with oil and henna." (source) These rituals and care continue for 40 days postpartum, and the mother and baby are kept together constantly so that the maternal - baby bond can be established. The mother is also excused from all household chores during this time.

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In China and Nepal, "very little attention is paid to the pregnancy; much more attention is focused on the mother after the baby is born. This has been described as "mothering the mother." For example, the new status of the mother is recognized through social rituals and gifts" (source).

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In rural Guatemala, and the Yucatan, "ritual bathing, washing of hair, massage, binding of the abdomen, and other types of personal care" are common postpartum practices done for the mother (source).

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How does this compare to the postpartum care of mothers in America? Can we even imagine being doted on, tended to, having our hair washed, all our meals prepared and brought to us, being massaged, being "made up" to look beautiful, not having to worry or focus on ANYTHING but our new baby?

Typically a new mama will come home 1 or 2 days after giving birth in a hospital or birth center. Her husband (if she has one) may stay home for a week if possible, and her parents may be able to come to help for a week or two. For the most part, however, new mothers are left to fend for themselves, due to the nature of our society where it is rare to have support people who do not work full time. Mamas are supposed to recover from the birth, take care of their new baby, take care of their other children (if they have them), breastfeed successfully, cook for themselves and their family, keep the house clean, do the laundry, do the dishes, and try to rest. This is such an unrealistic expectation of our postpartum women. It does them and their babies a GREAT disservice by causing incredible stress because it is just not possible to do it all.

This is where postpartum doulas come in. My next blog post will discuss what a postpartum doula is and how she can help our precious postpartum mamas. :-)

Here are the articles where I got my information - very interesting, I recommend you read them!

Traditional Postpartum Rituals of India, North Africa, and the Middle East - Catherine Cartwright Jones

Korean Postpartum Rituals (21 Days) 

Postpartum Rituals and the Prevention of Postpartum Depression: A Cross Cultural Perspective - Kathleen Kendall-Tackett, PhD, IBCLC

A great doula post!

Helene Rose wrote this entry on the elephant journal. It is the perfect summation of what a doula is and what she does. Check it out!


http://www.elephantjournal.com/2010/10/the-birth-doula-2/

Doula on "A Baby Story"

Here is part of an episode with a great example of what a doula does. Dad is injured and cannot support mom through the labor. (Doulas are still just as important when dad CAN help though. She can coach them, support them, and guide them both through positions and pain relief techniques through labor. A doula NEVER replaces a daddy/partner.) He is filming and capturing the labor as mom and doula work through each contraction. The doula here rocks/holds mom, provides counterpressure, and hip squeezes to help with pain. They also go on a walk to help labor progress more quickly. This is a very active labor and that is definitely helping baby come down into mom's pelvis and speed labor along! :)