Be Positive

I feel that one of the most important steps in childbirth happens weeks before you ever feel your first contraction. It is so essential because it will effect you on that beautiful day and will largely (I believe) determine the outcome of your birth experience. It is this: the way that you talk to yourself. Now I'm not talking about voices in your head schizophrenia style, but we all talk to ourselves, don't we? We tell ourselves that we are too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too dumb, too weak. What we tell ourselves is based on our beliefs and experiences. And it determines our actions, our feelings, and the situations we end up in. Think about the way you talk to yourself. Is it positive? Uplifting? Or are you hard on yourself and kind of negative about your strength and abilities? Trust me, it WILL make a difference on your birthing day.

Take for instance a little story about two women. They are both pregnant. They are both beautiful, young, smart, and loved. They both think about the day that they will go into labor.

Woman #1 is very positive about her birth experience and has gone to great lengths to prepare herself for that day. She has taken classes and focused on relaxation and meditating on positive affirmations throughout her last trimester. She asks people not to tell her about their birth horror stories. She is not sure of exactly what to expect, but overall she feels positive and in control. She has faith in herself and her body's ability to birth.

Woman #2 is scared of birth. She knows it hurts, people have told her how much over and over again. They have told her "natural" birth is nuts, who wouldn't want an epidural?!! She hasn't taken a childbirth education class and she is largely unaware of her options and choices in the hospital setting. She is afraid that she won't be able to handle the pain.

Which of these two women do you think is going to have a more positive birth experience? Which one is going to be better prepared to handle the potential surprises and "obstacles" that can arise in the birth process? Which is more likely to need medical intervention and pain relief?

Now. I am not saying that epidurals and pain relief don't have their place. This is not about pain relief or childbirth situations at all. It is about being prepared and confident. It is about not going into birth with a crippling fear, but rather going into it confident and empowered in your ability to birth a child and make informed decisions along the way. It is about making sure that when you look back on your birth experience, epidural or not, interventions or not, that you knew you were as prepared as possible and made the best choices for you in that situation.

What we say to ourselves matters. It goes into our subconscious and it dictates a large part of our lives. The Hypnobabies website discusses this:

In other cultures, childbirth is regarded as a natural, normal event in a woman's life. The birthing women are given support from other women, and children are often present to witness the event. In this way, birth is celebrated and honored. Young girls then grow up with the belief system that birth is a positive event and their expectations of childbirth reflect this attitude. As a result, their births are similar to their predecessors; without pain and fear. They have a positive expectation of childbirth. In our culture, it is very much the opposite. For many generations we have been told that delivering a baby will be untold hours of painfully agonizing work, to be faced with fear and trepidation. We have heard stories from well-meaning friends and family that send shivers up our spines, and so the legacy continues. We experience pain in childbirth, in part because we very much expect to! 

If we expect pain, we harbor fear. If we harbor fear, we tense up. When we tense up, pain increases. 

So my message is this. Be prepared. Know what to expect. Be kind to yourself. Have faith in yourself. If you don't, pretend. Tell yourself every day that you can do it. Tell yourself that your body was made to do this.

Find a CD or a book of pregnancy and birth affirmations.
Do the Hypnobabies program. (I recommend this only because I have had several clients use it with great success).
At the very least, write down your own affirmations. To do this, think of all your negative, fearful thoughts, and then write down the opposite. For instance, if you are afraid you won't be able to handle the pain, write down "I will be calm and relaxed. I will handle one contraction at a time. The pain cannot be greater than me, because it IS me."
Then set apart time for yourself every single day where you meditate or pray and tell yourself all the positive things you have written down. (Or listen to the CD, or read the book, etc.) Repeat them out loud. Even if you don't truly believe them at first, the point is to repeat it enough that it goes into your subconscious.
"Fake it till you make it"!
At the same time, do not allow yourself to think negative thoughts.
If one pops into your head, immediately combat it with a positive thought.
Politely ask all your well meaning friends not to tell you their traumatic birth stories until after you give birth.
Don't watch sensationalized TV shows like One Born Every Minute.
Read positive birth stories and books, such as Painless Childbirth, Birth Without Fear, Orgasmic Birth. Begin to look forward to the day you birth your baby.
Focus on it as the beautiful, miraculous, natural event that it is.
Anticipate it with joy and excitement.
YOU.CAN.DO.IT!!!!
You were made to do it.
Your body effortlessly and subconsciously formed a human being.
So it can also give birth to it normally and naturally.

Much love and positive thoughts,
Elyse

Welcome Baby Paige!

Baby Paige was due on March 20th, however, she started trying to make an appearance very early at only 32 weeks gestation. So her doctor put Mommy Avie on medicine to keep her in. It worked so well, that when Avie got off the medication, Paige didn't want to come out anymore! :) Mommy Avie and Daddy Tim were so excited when Avie started having contractions every 4-5 minutes on a Sunday, the first day of her 37th week. (This is a litttttle mama, and her babies are ready to come out around 37 weeks usually!) I went to Avie & Tim's house that Sunday night around 7, excited to be a part of this family's birth! Avie was handling the contractions perfectly; walking around, standing, and leaning against the kitchen counter, swaying and moaning through her contractions. She also used her birth ball to sit and lean on when she got tired of standing. She did not need much help through the contractions, though she did like to lean against Tim's back and have her back scratched lightly. The grandparents got there to watch big sister Jamie, and we all left for the hospital around 8.

We got to the hospital, and Avie was hooked up to the electronic fetal monitors so the nurses could see her contraction pattern. They were about every 5-7 minutes but not in an "effective" pattern according to the nurses. All three of us played poker and then went for a walk around the hospital for 2 more hours before returning to the room to be monitored again. The nurses decided to send Avie & Tim home as she was still in early labor.

The next morning, the contractions had slowed and Avie was determined to relax and not think about labor. She went a few more days before her water broke at home on the next Tuesday night, March 1st. She called her doctor, who told her to go to the hospital. She wanted to take her time though as she wasn't having contractions in a strong pattern, so she took a shower, straightened her hair and went to get some food with Tim. I met them at the hospital around 9pm and we waited to be checked into a room.

It was a popular baby night that night so we waited for a while before being checked in to an overflow room. We decided to play travel scrabble and they were both kicking my butt and making fun of my words! (haha) Avie was still not having contractions in a pattern, though they did start to pick up throughout the night. The doctor was talking about starting pitocin so Avie decided she wanted to try nipple stimulation. She had brought her breast pump so she started pumping. As soon as she did, her contractions picked up. She would close her eyes and breathe through them slowly, and then open her eyes and smile when they were over. This went on throughout the night, and at about 4am they moved us to a regular L&D room. What a relief! :)

At this point, Avie's contractions were strong, but the doctor wanted to see her progress faster, so they asked and Avie & Tim agreed to try pitocin. After discussing it, we asked the nurse to start a low dose of pitocin and increase it only by 1 or 2 ml at a time to give Avie's body a chance to catch up on it's own. She started to go into that primal labor state and had her eyes closed most of the time as she was going through contractions. She wanted to labor on her own so Tim and I stayed close by but not touching her. She was able to doze and relax in between contractions, and the only way we knew she was contracting was when she would start to take slow, deep breaths. She would then settle back in to rest. Once she got to 5-6 cm, her labor was progressing quickly. About an hour and a half later, she was 8cm and there was a feeling of excitement in the air. She was starting to need more support through her contractions. Her husband stayed by her side, stroking her hair and talking to her, while I was scratching her arms and back lightly.

Transition came around 9am and she started to make more noise and needed more encouragement to breathe and stay as relaxed as possible. She was so great at trying every suggestion that I and Tim and the nurse gave to her. She was able to stay very relaxed and breathe through each contraction. At 10am, she started to feel like she had to push. The nurse came in and helped her push through several contractions, for about 45 minutes. Baby Paige's head started to descend past the cervix and near the perineum so the doctor was called in. Once the doctor came in the room, Avie HAD to push and gently birthed her baby girl!!

Baby Paige was welcomed into the loving arms of her mommy and daddy at 11:04am on March 2, 2011. Daddy cut her umbilical cord, and they held and admired their new baby as I was taking pictures. Mommy did not tear and released the placenta within 10 minutes. When it came out she exclaimed "oh my gosh that felt SO GOOD!" :) Baby Paige was taken to be cleaned, weighed, and apgar scored. She got an 8 and 9 on her apgars, and weighed 7lbs. 11 oz. and was 19 1/2" long.

Within 5 minutes of being taken to be cleaned, Paige was brought back to mommy and daddy for some skin to skin. Mommy and baby gazed into each others eyes while daddy was right there with them, smiling and crying a little (as was I!!) About 10 minutes later, Paige was showing hunger cues, so Mommy and I got her in a good position to latch and latch she did!!! She was a champion nurser right from the get go.

A few minutes later, grandpa brought big sister Jamie to come and meet her new baby sister.

It was such an honor and pleasure to be part of this birth. Avie remarked that this was the exact birth she envisioned and hoped for! Thank you Avie & Tim for having me there and congratulations on your precious baby girl!!!!

*All names and pictures were used with permission of the family :)