Sidebar - Sometimes I Feel Bad

I love to read. I love information and sharing and teaching. I especially love it when it comes to my job as a doula. The physiology and psychology of pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period fascinate me, and I love to pass along that knowledge to new and expectant mommies.

I am also a big believer in informed consent. Big. Huge. (name that movie). I believe that most mamas and daddies in this day and age don't get all the info from their care providers when it comes to the interventions of birth. I have heard many an anesthesiologist give the "informed consent" speech for an epidural but leave out everything but the most basic medical info. While the mother is writhing in pain and probably not hearing a word, natch. Is this informed consent? No.

In order to have true informed consent, parents must do their homework ahead of time. They must know all about birth interventions BEFORE hand, so that they can create a birth plan and do their best to stick to it once they enter the birthing zone. Occasionally this is not possible. Most of the time it is. Being informed gives you power. Being uninformed takes that power away.

So yes, I love to share what I learn. I share it in prenatals, emails, via this blog, and via facebook. I share a crazy amount of articles on facebook every month, for this very purpose. Not to bore people, or annoy people, but to inform them, because this is my PASSION.

Still, sometimes I feel bad. I love all my clients so much, and there have been a few times when births did not go according to plan, and interventions were had. Not because it was the mamas fault, but because it just happened. And I feel bad because here I am sharing all this wonderful, important, powerful information, and always in the back of my mind is a little voice that says "I hope this doesn't make so and so feel bad." "I hope whosywhats doesn't read this and feel like a failure." etc.

Take World Breastfeeding Week for example. Do I love breastfeeding? Yes. Am I passionate about it? Yes. Do I want to shout it's benefits and all my support from the rooftops? Yes. Do I know people who didn't breastfeed and feel bad about it? Yes. Do I want to make them feel bad by all this talk about how great it is and how good for the baby and the mama and on and on and on. NO. There is NO CONDEMNATION in my words or my heart. It breaks my heart that any mama would feel like a failure or look back at something she CAN'T CHANGE now and feel bad about it. That is the LAST effect I want my information to have.

However, I can't stop teaching, and I have hope that not only is the information helpful to mamas ahead of time, but also that maybe it will help some mamas the next time around.

Much Love,
Elyse